Something interesting required. Please.

The reason I have not typed for so long is because there is nothing, NOTHING, to write about. Apart from the fact that I turn a year older in about 5 days time, apart from the fact that I am still single (is there something drastically wrong with me? No seriously.), apart from the fact that I like this guy where it is going towards (slowly and steadily) ‘god-where-the-fuck-are-we’ land, apart from the fact that I am stuck in my job for at least 7 more months, blah blah. The remotely exciting thing, and by that I mean getting peoples’ reactions like ‘oh-really-that’s-great-oh-look-the-bird-just-pooped’, is learning Mandarin. Through my iTouch (I lost my previous one by the way, to some loser who picked it up off the road in about some 10 mins span. I hope my iTouch came alive and the earphones strangled him). By the way, my sister is getting married peoples! Yeah, and I have to lose weight for that and I really really don’t see that happening. Another exciting thing is that monsoons have started. This basically means that I have graduated from whining about the heat and humidity to whining about the damn rain.

We have an Appreciation Week going on at my workplace and its fun to an extent. Fun till your drastic mood swings kick in; fun till you think yourself to depression as to why you are single and fun till you see your object of affection totally and completely ignoring you. I have, however, come to one conclusion. More than women, men are complete bitches.

Oh and the other interesting thing is that Osama Bin Laden is now, well, been laden. Probably digging a hole in his grave to the gates of hell. No wait. That will be paradise for him. He should actually make his way to heaven and then die again due to all the niceness there.

Just when you start thinking that finally Government got some sense due to Anna Hazare’s movement and when you finally start going towards the ‘R’ of respect to them, they go ahead and do something totally absurd. Like increasing the age limit for drinking. So you are seriously trying to tell me that I can vote for another corrupted person to rule this country, I can start my family with crying babies, I can stay alone and look after myself, I can get drunk on beer BEFORE I have whisky? Are you fucking shitting me? How’s this a law? A legitimate, sensible, law? Wait. Legitimate and sensible don’t go with law. If law WAS legitimate and sensible it wouldn’t be law then, right?

I can’t believe half the year is over. It seems like yesterday I drove down to Karjat for like 5 hrs and was back in 3.

Can 12th December 2012 come any sooner? Please!

A day in the life of a single, 20-something hotelier

So this is how my day today was like:

• Got stuck in traffic while coming to the hotel.
• Threw the cutlery instead of the used paper towel in the dust bin.
• Banged my head against the side view mirror of a parked truck (stupid truck).
• Got the security to laugh at me.
• Got stuck in traffic while going home.

My bittersweet life in 2010 or one of the more clichéd titles thanks to a popular rock band.

So the year started off with a hangover on a Friday. How do I remember it was a Friday? Well, the calendar obviously and ‘cuz we had to go for work. Yup! When the world was popping aspirins on 1st January 2010 and having steaming mugs of coffee to nurture the throbbing headaches, we hoteliers, sat in the offices with no phones ringing.

January came and went and the shortest month followed suit which felt like eons to me due to, let’s say, twuble at the workplace. Was still a management trainee. Had a lot of trips back and forth from my boss’s cabin. Was told they were doubtful of my promotion. Well, I am glad I was the bearer of the good noose (noose is right). Took 2 weekends off.

March was uneventful apart from the much deserved, 2-yr long awaited convocation ceremony which finally certified me as a graduate in B.A. (Hons.) in Hotel Management. I had finally and completely shifted out of the dilapidated area called my accommodation and shifted in with my sister at a more humane location and called it home. April flew in like an annoying pigeon in a house and took off after lingering for what seemed like forever. Took a total of 4-5 weekends off.

May saw some slight, let’s say developments, for a want of a better word, in my life. We had the Associate Appreciation Week and I did what I do the best: made a fool of myself and cringing at the very thought of that time. I finally did get promoted to a more boss-y level. I have realized it gives me immense sadistic pleasure especially during PMS.

Then came my birthday month, countdown for which had started popping up from 10 days prior on my friends’ news feed on FB thanks to my hourly updates. The D-day came and wished more than ever to not be single. June finished in a blink of an eye.

July was a month which was divided in 2 halves. 1st half consisted of working till 12 in the night and the 2nd half consisted of wishing I was at work till 12 in the night. Had gone to Mansarovar. Yup! Definitely once in a lifetime (experience).

Monsoons refused to go. August and September were better with developments (+ve ones) in my professional, personal and social life. No longer did I feel like a total losa! October was humid with continuous rains. Started following uber-cool programmes like Lie To Me, Bones, Criminal Minds and of course Master Chef Australia. I cut my almost-waist length hair till my ears and coloured it red.

November days were taken up by my boss’s disapproving glares for my red hair and me coming in 10 mins late for the morning meetings. November evenings were taken up by shifting in back with my parents 2 hrs away from where I work and from where I had fallen in love with my lifestyle and my religious following of Master Chef. November’s 1st half was cold and dreary in Mumbai and the 2nd half was cold and dreary in Pune. October – November went in deciding social life over the weekends and the possibilities of stay overs. Closest friend got married and I was forced to re-think my single status. Got to know of a horrible case of one of my guests. R.I.P.

December is nearly done. Master Chef is almost done. Been awaiting in anxiety for the winner to be declared. Had an awesome Secret Santa in the office. Had a present-less Xmas over the weekend. Just been needing reasons to party and go shopping.

Been reflecting on 2010 and trying to rectify my mistakes (which, by the way, are none). Been stressed as to how should we end the last Friday of the last year of the 1st decade of the 2nd millennium. Same time 2 yrs hence, on 12th December 2012, world might not be no more so have to blackmail my parents into doing whatever I want (which, by the way, I still do). Got 2 weekends off. Yup! Year was divided in 52 weekends for me.

2010 hasn’t been the most awesomest year and my womanly intuitions are telling me nor will 2011. Status on FB will still reflect single, heart will be broken yet again and as always, friends will get married, will try to get into Fashion Journalism, weight will not be lost, career and job will be equivalent to that dreary time of 9-12 hrs almost everyday (hopefully not on weekends), social life will (hopefully) be rocking, sister will definitely get married, mom dad will start loving their lives once again, birthday will come and I will be a year older without having anything to tell my grandkids.

Yup! Totally looking forward to 2011. Hence proved.

So.....

So yeah my life is such right now that if I actually wanna look at the ground, I will have to look. Up. With a telescope.

Yeah thats how my life is right now. You know people say its the peak and valley or highs and lows or stilletos and ballerinas. It falls in the latter of all the 3 phrases!

Sigh! Don't ask.

..... and so the weekend started!

During our school English Grammar exams, we were always given a choice on an essay topic. I always ended up choosing a story wherein the starting line or the ending used to be given and we had to fabricate something totally awesome (like my blog. But it is not a work of fiction. It is my truthful life. I know. Pathetic, isnt it?). So the title sort of works that way 'cuz I will be ending today's post with the exact same wordings.

Lemme start day-wise:

Friday:

So the morning started in the same ol' usual way (yawn). My alarm rang at 6:30 am. I snoozed it. It rang again at 6:40 am, I snoozed it. It then rang at 7:00 am I didnt hear it. So my sister kicked me and yelled at me for full 5 mins when I realized it. I FINALLY dismissed it. (Nirvana). So at 8:15 I got up with my usual 'Oh Shit!'. Got ready. Had the choice of making coffee and wearing my lenses and I was torn for choice. It was a bit like that poem in which that guy stands in front of a fork in the road and the entire poem basically describes him trying to see which road he takes and stuff. I have always picturized him scratching his head and looking around. Ok so now back to the topic. I did both. Hah! Obviously I reached at 9:10 for the 9 am morning meeting (yawn. AGAIN). But alas! iIshould have known the fight with my sister was basically a sign from the big guy upstairs. So on my way to the hotel, I had a fight with the auto driver. As well! Yeah. Pathetic! I basically asked him to go from the wrong side cuz thats is what u r supposed to do else I wouldn't have reached before 9:30. So I fought for like full 10 mins and I actually felt very bad for the way he was talking to me. So I finally reached, took my uniform and ran to change. And guess what? My stockings ripped. Yup! Perfect start! So I made it to the morning meeting and was greeted by The Stare. You know the hateful one which your bosses give u. Yeah, that one. Now being the pro that I am I, like totally, ignored it. (note to my bosses: no offense I swear!) And as my goof ups have to come all together, I got yelled at like 3 times in that one hour; and everytime my boss would tell me, I am not yelling at you and in my head I went like, "um, then who?" (please read the above bracketed note). Ok if you must know my goof up. I basically did some major absent-mindedness in which the hotel occupancy dropped. (Why does that always happen with me?) So all in all it was a pretty shit day. So many of my guests came in, I could not complete my work, I was tired and in desperate need for some 1000000 pints of beer. So we made a plan to drink at my friend's place. So while going I stopped to withdraw cash and buy chocolate donuts. I needed them. So finally I decided to crash at my friend's place and that is another whole different story and I will need another post for that.

Saturday:

So I had work on this dreary day. You remember above I had mentioned I crashed at my friend's place. Yeah so reached work late. Yet again! (surprise! surprise!). We usually order food from outside on weekends. So as my friend/ colleague was collecting cash I realized I did not have my debit card. I was frantically searching for it when I fel cold and possibly even dizzy. Sick to the stomach was also one of the symptoms. If you are not intelligent and not a 'eye-for-detail' reader with a photgraphic memory then I will like you to read the last few sentences of "Friday" wherein I mentioned I stopped to withdraw cash. I had basically left my card in the damn ATM machine but thought that since I have a spare card I am saved and my account balance was untouched. Muah to u internet banking! Actually there was hardly any cash in it for anyone to take it. I feel bad for whoever must have tried it. So I ran and I ran to the ATM or rather sat in the car, chewed my nails like a beaver while the driver drove the car there. So the ATM machine had swallowed my card and destroyed it. It sounded like a nuclear weapon which has just targeted the enemy side and has vowed to destroy each and every cell of that side of the world. But I had my spare card. So it was not so bad, though I felt low 'cuz I have never done something so stupid. Anyway, after work I decided to get me and my sister some coffee. So I went to Costa Coffee to do the honours and lo behold! after 2 months of opening they still don't accept cards. Can u believe that?! In this day and age of pollution-creating-world-destroying-plastic money, who does that! So I walked back to another ATM this time and tried the spare card. Nothing happened. Tried it again, the machine blinked blankly at me. Tried the 3rd time and I expected "r u stupid?" to flash across in front of me. Then I tried my savings card. Nothing happened. By this time I was this close to a stroke. So I dialled the helpline number and the helpful guy very cheerfully told me that the spare card was valid only for a month (and I could hear it in his mind, "U moron you have had it for a year! for what?") I must have sounded hysterical 'cuz then he assured me that I will get my new card by the following week and re-assured me and then some more. Of course the card has not come till now, and it has been 10 days. So I went home in a huff, took some cash which was in my cupboard, went back to Costa Coffee. I finally got the nectar and ambrosia I needed and headed home. I entered the elevator. I reached my 2nd floor house when the stupid, STUPID paper bag (who puts liquids/ drinks in paper bags? especially cold ones which fuckin' condense!) opened up, like someone's mistress, and threw my coffee on the floor. I could only stare and not breakdown and cry. So I went home with my chocolate brownie and prayed no one knew it was me but alas! In this day and age where cameras ae EVERYWHERE I was finally caught (Where is the privacy, you nosy bastards?). So the security called and I had to go and mop up the entire elevator and clean it till it was spic and span otherwise the security would have slammed the elevators door shut on my head. They were watching me like hawks. So I went home, banged the door shut and slept off with evil thoughts of killing humanity going on in my head. Then I had to back to my friend's place as there was a birthday get together. So I drank not 'cuz I had to but 'cuz I needed to. Then I thought I will sleep in my friend's room, but ended up sleeping alone on a mattress in the living room. Got up on Sunday at 7:30 am with a massive hangover and left for Pune for Florida's concert.

.... and so my weekend started!

Ok fine! There is one word difference between the title and the last sentence. So sue me! You cant see me happy, can u? Hmph!

To be or not to be! or There are always signs from up above

I never thought I will say this, ever, in this life time at least but I can only hope that the God of Shopping (if only there is. I have my doubts now. Read on to know why) forgives me but I had no choice. So here goes. It has taken me a lot of time to build up the courage to pen it or rather type it down: "Shopping is strsesful!" at times. (Gasp!) There. I said it. However, do not miss the "at times" as well. On Sunday, a beautiful morning with lovely weather, my father, mother, sister n I decided to venture out. Since my parents will be soon shifting back to Bombay (woohoo!) Sorry politicians, it is still Bombay to moi and NOT Mumbai. It is like calling me a "skirt addict", which I am but it is NOT the entire me and people will not be able to relate. Aaaanywaay, we ventured out to see the progress of the house where we will be shifting to. After a lot of cribbing and whining and "how will I have a social life with the house so far away" and "what will my friends think" to "shut up" we reached and I have to admit, I do not mind living that far away 'cuz I love my room. In fact I dont mind sleeping on the floor board which shall soon be my bed. Ok I am digressing here as usual. So we saw the house, ooh-ed an aah-ed and left. Sis n I were craving for Sushi (I have exotic tastes, you know) and I know this awesome place which serves even awesome-er Sushi. So we reached and we ordered and within 10 minutes the guy came back. Looking at him I knew the news was not good so I braced myself against the feeling of foreboding. He came and said or rather gave me the 1st sign of the horrible, HORRIBLE day, "Ma'am, we dont serve sushi on Sunday mornings". My world stopped. I did not know how to convey this piece of terrible news to my sister but being the brave one that I am, I did so anyway. She was "sooper pissed off" so to speak and as she puts it so was I. Hmph! How can they NOT serve Sushi on Sunday mornings??? So we ate the other stuff (sob sob sniff sniff) and went shopping. Nothing like retail therapy to up your mood. But how was I to know what lay before me.....

We reached Juhu as I had to buy my friend's birthday gift and that was the only place which was selling the Chanel lipglosses that she was lusting after. I ran to the counter and to my utter dismay it was not on display. I checked with the lady behind the counter who was very sweet and took a lot of my cribbing and crying which I wouldn't have and would have socked the person in the face, client or no client. She hunted and hunted and hunted but could not find it. I finally decided on another shade. Which to my defense was available in the "tester" model. She hunted and hunted and hunted but could not find it. I was dangerously close to my tears and bawling. I decided on a 3rd shade. She hunted and hunted and hunted and finally found it. Whew! 1st task was done. So to life my spirits I dragged mom to the shoe section where I knew had the most awesomest pair of heels and which I wanted to buy. See the pic below. I ran up and lo behold! They HAD the shoe. In my size. They and hunted and hunted but could not find it. Got me the same shoe in my size but in cream colour. Not tan. (Guy readers: that shoes is TAN. NOT brown!) I went downstairs in a fowl mood to pick up an eye shadow in purple for my friend as it is her favourite colour. I selected a palate of 3 ultra cool purple colours (whatever I choose HAS to be cool). She hunted and hunted and hunted but could not find it. That was the last straw. I stomped over to the check out counter. Stomped back to the Chanel counter and the sweet lady gave me a Chanel miniature, which by the way opened up in my bag. Stomped to the other store to pick up a shade in purple. Got one finally! Yes, I was literally broke. Yes, I was annoyed. Yes, I cried a lil. Stomped towards the car, sat with a thud and shut the door with a bang.

I had to buy groceries. On our way back, we stopped at a local grocery store to pick up basics like milk and bread. I asked for Nestle Slim. They and hunted and hunted but could not find it. I asked for Amul Lite. They hunted and hunted and hunted but could not find it. I finally had to make do with Nestle normal one. God knows what it is called. Then I was poking around for the bread. Luckily a last pack of my favourite brand was there. I grabbed it. Sun was fnally breaking out of the dark clouds which were hovering around me like a halo. I could see the silver lining. My heart felt lighter.

Yes it was a nightmarish shopping experience but I have learnt from my mistakes. Never wait for the sale or more money. Just pick up what you see and like. It should come in the category of "if-u-dont-buy-it-it-will-haunt-u-n-u-will-never-find-the-right-size" so that you are saved from such totally-scarred-for-life-and-bitter-towards-shops experience.

I did not tell you about the cheesecake incident, did I? After sushi incident I decided to have a lil craving for cheesecake from this restaurnat next door. Forget the sushi, the damn restaurant was not there.

Let me know about your horrible shopping experiences as well and let me feel better! Gnight and, hopefully, sweet dreamz till next time!

Aw c'mon.....

..... you don't have to congratulate me! But if you insist I will not say no!!! So on 27th May 2010, after 2000 hrs, I finally got promoted! Yeah I ran in a leetle late as usual. The Area VP was almost done with his speech when I entered. So it was slightly awkward 'cuz everyone always has to turn around and look at the late comer. Why do people do that I will never understand? Aanywaay, I was a Management Trainee for 2 yrs and it has finally paid off. We had the most awesome-est Grad Party in the hotel! it was a Black Tie- Black Dress event. Thank god I picked up that dress from AND and those heels from Tresmode or the "Lady GaGa Shoes" as my friends put it. Tottered over to the stage. Met all the GM's. Kissed the cutest one and got my certificate. I have already ordered for my new visiting cards which are soon gonna be thrown from the terrace in order to distribute to utter and complete strangers. I have changed my signature in my email address at work. I feel like such a grown up! Though my work is the same with a leetle more responsibility my family thinks I have become the Queen of the Shoe World. I wish though. But I get to boss around. Hah! But knowing me it will be very difficult to do that. God! I need so much training in that department!


But whatever! I got promoted! Woohoo!


Now this manager will like to go and sleep in peace.