Mayans were right

Ok fine. You were right. I am terrible at updating my blog. But to my defense I have had a busy couple of months ok? Sheesh! So AS's b'day came and it was brilliant 'cuz I threw a party for him in my new apt. It was a supposed to be a surprise party but noooo. Men are dumb and will never learn. His friends I mean. They just let it out with the way they were behaving. I was so upset that I cried at midnight on his b'day. But I gave him instructions to act all surprised and touched and all. That didn't happen either. But seeing the state of my new house, you could tell it was a brilliant partay! (sob) See the invite below-

Ze Cake

Anywho, I then went to Dilli for my cousin's wedding (remember for whom I was practising dancing) and danced on a perfectly raunchy number. I will never see that dance video again. EVER. I definitely look like a green tree (the colour of my outfit) trying to wave my branches. I came back and then went again to Dilli end of December for my friend's wedding. I did catch a bad cold there. Between the 2 weddings, AS and I fought but made up and he gave me a GUESS wallet. I promise to fight with you everyday from now on! Sigh! 

But the point of this post is that I think that the world did end in December. Though not physically but definitely, morally. We lost our humanity and our regards towards a human life. I remember opening up the paper one day. 1 page spoke about the gangrape (I thought that it will be another case like 1000 others); 1 page spoke about the grand father raping is 9 yr old (NINE YEAR OLD YOU SICK FUCK!!!!!!!!) step grand daughter, another page spoke about the mass shooutout in the school. 1 page spoke about a man in China who injured 22 children with a knife (these are children you sick bastards). Then the consequent pages spoke about the dismal performance of India in cricket (you do realize there are other sports and other heroes on this planet). I was nearly crying with frustration when I slammed my door shut and went for work. 

A day later is when I realized the brutality of the rape and how the main accused is a fucking juvie and how he will escape. I will castrate him. But has the govt done anything in the previous years that they will do now? Of course not. They should be the ones getting raped and getting shot. I say release those damn terrorists who attacked the parliament and give them another go. Try try till you succeed eh? I am pretty sure I will be helping them perform the task.

But if you see, Mayans were right. For me along with a gazillion people on this planet, the world did end in December. December 2012 taught us some things which we will not forget in a hurry. It taught us that indeed united we stand. It taught us that people do suffer from loneliness and depression and it's just not some shit in movies. It taught us that you can be brave and fight for your life no matter how injured and breathe till the end. It taught us to not disregard a human life. It taught us that there are sick bastards on this planet and that they should be tortured till the world ends. It taught us and reinforced this thought that the people ruling our country suck balls.

(Epic movie, flu, London Olympics)- Awesome Stuff- Part 2

SO y'all read about the wedding? (Yeah I am writing about my life which happened nearly 10-12 months ago). BEFORE the wedding, my director called me and sat me down and asked me how will I like to get a promotion and move out? I was all like..... speechless. She prompted me once, twice and thrice. Then I said I am totally ok moving out of the city. I said I am going on leave so probably after that we could discuss it. After the wedding, I came back and realized I had been shortlisted for interview with my Director's boss for the new position in the sister hotel. I applied for it and got through (obviously not without a couple of nasty remarks from dir's boss. She is kind of mean that way. Women bosses! sigh!) So this meant moving away from AS which I totally hated. So NYE came and we partied like crazy with the rest of the sweaty people. (Having house parties from now on).

I had to join my new hotel on 9th of Jan. I was nervous with butterflies in my stomach. But I dont like talking about work here so I wont. Have more important things to discuss with you guys, you see. So a week later I messaged AS saying I am moving on and there is no point in waiting 'cuz he is never gonna get over that ex of his. He said its for the best. That literally broke my heart. Luckily it was a Friday and my parents weren't home over the weekend so I cried my eyes out. I even cried on seeing senti advertisements. sucks. Being the strong one that I am, I didn't message him AT ALL and vowed not to till he did. (Like any girl would) I went to work on Monday and we are allowed to use Skype. He came on Skype just to chat with me after 2 long years. Finally he met me on Friday and said he likes me and that that one week was probably the longest for him and if I will like to be his gf. I had played this scene over and over in my mind long before and I had decided  I would give him a hard time and say I will think about it but I didnt. I said yes immediately but obviously not before asking him if he was over that ex (will be referred to as 'it' from now on. I do NOT like her...it)

So we have been dating for like good 10 months and it has been brilliant with the occasional fights especially when I am PMS-ing (what is with guys and not understanding PMS?) Then came the epic movie of all times 'Dark Knight Rises' and I have never hooted so much before in my life for any movie or clapped for that matter. It was bloody brilliant. My cousin went for the 7 am show. ALONE. Dressed as the joker. I am surprised no newspaper got the wind of that. (My heart is with the Denver shooting victims)

Yeah I came down with the flu what with the non existent rains this time. But I ALWAYS get the flu. I don't know how. Then I ended up getting a viral (after I came back from Chandigarh after my cousin (who is younger than me which my mom doesn't let me forget) got engaged). But when I had the flu I did manage to see the London Olympics opening ceremony and Oh My God! Was it brilliant. Kudos to people of my land for making it till there.

I have finally moved into my new apt after 9 months of living with my cousin and my aunts ('cuz the commute from our house is sooooo long that I spend nearly a day traveling). My cousin is getting married and I have started dance practice for her sangeet and my family is pleasantly surprised with my 'talent' (is that what you kids are calling it these days?).

I have also realized Sunday evenings are way worse than Monday mornings. The look on everyone's face just registers doom as the sun starts setting. Right now is VERY EARLY Monday morning and I really think I should go sleep if I dont want to be late for my morning meeting. My stars haven't been really good these past couple of 10 days. More on that later (hopefully next week. No. Dont u DARE roll your eyes. I will write next week! Loser).

Gnight my lovelies and enjoy this festive season. Don't burn yourself or wear flammable clothes and prance around over lit candles. Have a fun week. 

(Yeah I should be abused)- Awesome stuff- Part 1

I know I know. I am sorry. Its been nearly 7 months and I know my non existent readers have contracted the deadly-we-always-wait-for-her-and-she-is-always-late-so-lets-ignore-her virus. Well, to that I will like to apologize AGAIN and ask you to read my description in my profile. I have mentioned there that I am always late. I really don't know how. I mean I get ready real fast but its as if time suddenly turns into speed of light whenever I need to be somewhere at a given time and the entire world just decides to travel to MY location, WITH ME, at MY time. Weird.

Anywho, 7 months back I promised that I will come out with various posts to keep you guys updated and with the goings-on of my awesome life. Yeah! you heard me. I am being positive. Yeah, its a new for me too. Still reeling from the shock. Hey, that can be a plausible excuse. That I cant get over how awesome 2012 has been (touchwood) and that's why I didnt blog 'cuz, you know, I was like in a whirlwind or somethin'.

So this is the 1st post of my life mini series. I am so lost where I ended so I will start with the 1st thing that happened. Sis got married! Yeah. Ain't that great? Obviously had to be at the hotel I used to work in. So she got married in November (surprise surprise). Weather was brilliant and I obviously could not lose weight. Has that ever happened? But being the sister of the bride its not all parties and squealing but a butt load of work. Like running around, listening to people complain, running around, listening to family gossip, running around, listening to people being judgemental, running around, listening to people being judgemental about people being judgemental, running around, listening to parents panic, running around, listening to the sister how she wants HER lil sister to get tequila on stage so she doesnt panic and run away. You get the drift, right?

But by the end of it, sis was happily married. The cocktail night was brilliant. (AS came and left in like 5 mins. I was sooper pissed with him but at least he came for the main day. Forgiven.) So cocktail night was the night when ALL of us were drunk (parents are teetotalers) including the bride and the groom. My cousin bro was so awe-struck by the groom's voice that he just couldn't understand WHY isn't he in the voice-over business. He did make it a point to try and drive his point home like when the bride and groom were sooper drunk and were getting all mushy and close on the dance floor. Ceremonies went on till like 4 in the morning like any good Punju wedding. I swear I could here people waking up and stretching and starting their morning Yoga. When the bride was leaving, I was expecting a lot of waterworks from all the females in the family and I wasn't disappointed peoples. No I didn't cry. Not much of a crier. Though I did ask mom is she was crying 'cuz sis was gonna come back home after her honeymoon and that is understandable. Yeah she didn't pay attention to that. Sis HAD to come back 'cuz her hubby was working in a different city. That's totally messed up. But, he took a transfer to Bombay and they are leading a happy married life. Well, Good Luck to them and all the best and may they be blessed with a gazillion babies. Sis should definitely NOT read this.

Ok, this is the beginning of a new week and tomorrow is yet another useless Monday, you will have a part 2 soon! Gnight for now. (please dont expect xoxo here. I don't like it and I don't know what it means. If its an invite to the 'x' and '0' game then I am all for it.)

PS- Did I tell you that the wedding photographer was really cute and all of us (including the bride) had the vacation crushes on him? (Vacation crush - vay-kay-shun kr-sh - Someone you have a crush on when you are on vacation or on leave).

So much has happened…..

….. in the past, um, 5 months (oh crap!) Don’t know where to begin. I can go consecutively. There MIGHT be some jumble here and there but u can bear it, im sure. Now since I don’t want this post to be soooooo long that after the 1^st few paras u all start reading it as ajhdbjwcfbcfuksdhfdjkbhukefhkcvjdfjuff and go like, ‘Oh! Look at the pigeon. So cute’ I will be posting the stuff in volumes. So here it goes:

Karma and Mother Nature are, well, bitches

So there is a song of a certain movie doing the rounds which goes like, ''Cuz Karma is a bitch" and wouldn't you agree? Well, I wholeheartedly do. Looking at the way everything is going at this very moment, I seriously feel universe is conspiring against me.

3 days after the anniversary of the train blasts in BOMBay, series of 3 blasts ripped the city. Again! Are you freakin kidding me? I know its very easy to sit and write/ talk/ whine about it but honestly, the Government sucks balls. Oh and there are over 6000 potholes in BOMBay. Rejoice! Rejoice!

Moving on to something personal. AS and I are still close friends and I am trying to move on. But will that ever happen easily? Of course not. So there I am minding my own business (we share the same cabin in the office by the way) and suddenly some random chick has to come and act all flirty and AS tells me, 'you are not a girl. you are a pal!' and I am like, 'Really? is it high school all over again?' Being a pal, having drunk guys fall all over me (not the sober ones) are the stories of my life so kindly don't drink and come near me. 

I was as usual late for work (stupid traffic) and I was running inside to go change (hoteliers have to wear a uniform) and it just started raining and by that I mean raining-like-there's-no-tomorrow-and-lets-uproot-trees-for-fun. I opened my new, zebra print umbrella (went specially to go buy it cuz the previous one was so uncool. It was a boring grey with tiny white flowers.) and voila! the wind was so strong that it just turned the other way. You know how it gets and you see people on the street struggling with it and you thank the stars that you are not one of them. Well, I became one of them and my hair was all over the place and I said fuck it. As soon as I reached inside the rain reduce considerably. How? I mean, how? And you wonder why does the title of my blog say what it says. 

I have been planning to get a 2nd tattoo done for ages now. I finally had 2 continuous weekends free. The 1st  weekend I called the tattoo artist and he was not in town and today I went so he was busy. I don't care. I am getting one done. See the pic below and be jealous, peoples.

I went to Kino 108 last weekend to get dwunk with Koti, AS, Phataks and couple of my other close friends. It was fun till AS saw the bill (every1 else had absconded by then) and he came close to a fight. Damn I have never been involved in a fight. That day not even the drunk guys gave me a second look. Talk about getting all emotional after drinking.

This week I was busy attending one of my friend's wedding and a function. I can't believe she is married. I cant believe that it so easy to find people of the opposite sex.

Like I have been saying before, I am seriously trying to lose weight and today I ate half a cheesecake. Why doesn't the universe just kill me already?

(note from author: I promise to have a more +ve post next time. Oh c'mon! gimme a break)

ok TRYING to be REALLY positive here.

Have u noticed or realized that lately I have become extremely cranky and whiny? You haven’t? Seriously? I have become so cranky and whiny that I want to kill me. With a shot gun. On the head. If you really haven’t realized then this post will confirm your doubts, for sure. Ok lets start with my milestone budday. It was AWESOME (you think I am actually gonna write which budday of mine it was?). So on Friday I went to Moshe’s for a quiet dinner with family (yup still single) and on Saturday, I decided to take a bunch of friends and go clubbing. So we landed in this club and my really REALLY good friend (lets call her Koti) had called like 20 people and booked the glass cabin and everything fancy and gave me an awesome surprise. This was 1 surprise had absolutely NO CLUE about. She has been going through her own tough time and she thought of this really made me feel awesome. See the cake pic below and you wonder why i call my self a shoe addict. NB: I was not whining here.

Ok, so the point is (I feel) that the 2 most important aspects of my life are not going the way I want them to and I am getting used to feeling like shit. The 2 aspects are my work life and my personal life. I don’t get it. Why do people say personal life? It’s like saying hot fire or something. Digressing again! So work, though its good, my heart is not in it and frankly I cannot wait till 2022 for my next promotion and there have been some unfair things which I don’t agree with so I am unhappy. My personal life sucks. So I like this guy lets call him AS for like quite sometime now. Probably the longest I have liked anyone from the opposite sex and the 2nd guy whom I confessed to about how I feel. (yeah, it didn’t work out with the 1st guy and I ended up falling for someone else after moping around for 2 days). So we have been, you know, doing stuff and I was like a dumb girl who thought this will go somewhere, blah blah blah and tada! It. Did. Not. So I ended whatever there was and we are still good friends. No seriously. We ARE close friends. So we sit in the same office, same cabin, talk and I go ‘AAAARRRRGGHHH’ in my mind. This Monday totally sucked. I had to reach work at 11, I reached work at 12 because I had to travel to Bandra from Thane and back to Powai for a 10 minute work and guess how much time it took? Guess guess? 4 hrs. Yup! That’s right. I was travelling from 8 am to 12 pm. Then during the course of the day I lost my diamond from my ring and before you ask me, like how very smart people have asked me yesterday, it was a real diamond. I also did not have an off this weekend but I managed to get one as my sister has gone to Delhi for her wedding shopping and wants me to be there. Today I got to know that everyone from my office is getting to go to Pune for a night out for the opening of one of the most- awaited night clubs. Just. Shoot. Me. Please.

Now are your doubts cleared? Now you know that I have become cranky and whiny and now you know WHY I have become cranky and whiny?

To end this negativity I will leave you with a very positive quote (stolen from a fridge magnet gifted to me by my friend): ‘There is nothing wrong with me that a li’l chocolate won’t fix’.

Something interesting required. Please.

The reason I have not typed for so long is because there is nothing, NOTHING, to write about. Apart from the fact that I turn a year older in about 5 days time, apart from the fact that I am still single (is there something drastically wrong with me? No seriously.), apart from the fact that I like this guy where it is going towards (slowly and steadily) ‘god-where-the-fuck-are-we’ land, apart from the fact that I am stuck in my job for at least 7 more months, blah blah. The remotely exciting thing, and by that I mean getting peoples’ reactions like ‘oh-really-that’s-great-oh-look-the-bird-just-pooped’, is learning Mandarin. Through my iTouch (I lost my previous one by the way, to some loser who picked it up off the road in about some 10 mins span. I hope my iTouch came alive and the earphones strangled him). By the way, my sister is getting married peoples! Yeah, and I have to lose weight for that and I really really don’t see that happening. Another exciting thing is that monsoons have started. This basically means that I have graduated from whining about the heat and humidity to whining about the damn rain.

We have an Appreciation Week going on at my workplace and its fun to an extent. Fun till your drastic mood swings kick in; fun till you think yourself to depression as to why you are single and fun till you see your object of affection totally and completely ignoring you. I have, however, come to one conclusion. More than women, men are complete bitches.

Oh and the other interesting thing is that Osama Bin Laden is now, well, been laden. Probably digging a hole in his grave to the gates of hell. No wait. That will be paradise for him. He should actually make his way to heaven and then die again due to all the niceness there.

Just when you start thinking that finally Government got some sense due to Anna Hazare’s movement and when you finally start going towards the ‘R’ of respect to them, they go ahead and do something totally absurd. Like increasing the age limit for drinking. So you are seriously trying to tell me that I can vote for another corrupted person to rule this country, I can start my family with crying babies, I can stay alone and look after myself, I can get drunk on beer BEFORE I have whisky? Are you fucking shitting me? How’s this a law? A legitimate, sensible, law? Wait. Legitimate and sensible don’t go with law. If law WAS legitimate and sensible it wouldn’t be law then, right?

I can’t believe half the year is over. It seems like yesterday I drove down to Karjat for like 5 hrs and was back in 3.

Can 12th December 2012 come any sooner? Please!