Monday, April 8, 2013

It's complicated

I honestly hate being like this. A sad, SAD person who has really forgotten how to laugh. So AS thinks he does not love me as I do and that leaves him feeling guilty which he is not ok with. No one will be ok with feeling guilty. But where did these feelings of inadequacy come from? I was in Kovalam with SG and all day we would just stare at the beach and the vast sea and just ask ourselves since when did our lives get so complicated? I don't know if I believe in karma but if karma really exists then where did I go wrong? Whom did I hurt so badly that I need to go through it? Anyway if it is karma then she is a bitch. If its not karma but just balance that has to be restored, then when did that point tip towards me? Why didn't I realize it? My friends tell me that this is just a phase. But I cant pin my hopes on to that one thread. What if it is not? What if he has decided we should never get back? Then? This is the 1st time I have realized how lonely I am. This was one boy I liked so much and for so long and this was one relationship I was so sure of. Today if anyone asks me if I am single or no I dont know whether to answer a 'yes' or 'its complicated'. At least now I understand what the phrase, 'its complicated' means.

Dear Universe,

Can I please see a sign that everything will be alright and wont be a bitch soon? Say in 24 hrs? Please?


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