Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Shoes (noun)- Comfort Stuff

Yes, this is the question I frequently (read: ALWAYS) ask whenever I go to buy any sort of clothing to cover my extra large surface area. I might as well shop in the Junior section. Whats the difference anyway nowdays? What is the world of clothing coming to? I am sorry but the free sized clothes just, well, plain suck! and I refuse, simply REFUSE to shop in those stores which advertise for bigger clothes. I am not THAT big nor am I small. Where the hell does that leave me? And people FYI, a person like me. Does. Not. Lose. Weight. In. One. Night. So I find solace in shoes. Ah! That word just makes my heart skip a beat. When you finally see a perfect pair of shoes you just know in there (in your gut) that this is it. This is the one. You feel clammy. Heart beats faster. You lose your appetite. Then when you come home and try them on you do not feel like removing them and letting the whole world know about your new found love by shouting from the rooftops and posting pictures of you with them, ALL OVER! You DO realize I am talking about shoes/ stilletos. And I was describing MY feeling. I do happen to have a back problem in which I am forbidden to wear anything more than one inch. I burst into tears on hearing that. I mean, people are just mean. They are my love. If I ask them to give up something they love for sometime they will throw a godforsaken fit. But I composed myself. My shoes are gonna feel lonely, but finding shoes for me is a challenge on its own. You see, my shoes size is bigger than most people, but when I find them I feel all of the above.
Advantages of shoes over clothes:
  1. After a certain age you will never outgrow them, no matter what.
  2. Even if you grow width wise, your shoes will support you.
  3. They are instant "pick-me-up's" (if you know what I mean, hyuk hyuk!).
  4. They look good.
  5. The free sized ones are not hideous.
  6. You do not feel embarrassed shopping for bigger size.
  7. They make your (read: my) large sized shapeless clothes look really hot and sexy.
  8. They make your legs look AWESOME. You yourself cannot take your eyes away from them!
  9. They give you height.
  10. You can use them as weapon against those godforsaken-we-have-no-work-but-to- irritate-you eve teasers and lechers.
  11. Really hot ones cause envy in the female species.

Sometimes looking good takes precedence over style. Well, for me its most of the time. I have shoes which make my feet feel as if they are on fire after an hour of wearing them. What do I do? I wear the rest of the evening. I run in my stilletos (when I am drunk obviously). I jump in them. I dance in them. I can marry them if that was allowed and legal! Oh God!

Ok I gotta go and put on some shoes as I am just stepping out. Thats my favourite part of dressing up, by the way!


BaWa said...

not a clue!

deepak said...

"They make your (read: my) large sized shapeless clothes look really hot and sexy."

hahhahaa.. ROFL.. LMAO.. damn funny..

karishma said...

lol maggie !!
i agree shoes are beter than clothes :P