What do you do when.....

Yes, my life is simply filled with Awkward Moments (I am a member of the group on Facebook: "Awkward moments describe my life"). Every minute and every second is either some screw up I have done or it is some screw up I have done. So what do you do when*:

*Author's note: All these are real life incidences of the author(ess). Resemblance to anyone or anything living, dead and/ or super natural is (of course) coincidental and you are my kinda person or thing and/or ghost:So what do you do when.....

1) You are running up the stairs, when you are obviously very VERY late for work with your Nine West heels in hand (cuz heels slow you down, you moron) and you collide with you sooper boss whom you obviously did not want to learn of stupid a$ lame excuse for being late?

2) You are at a party, so is your crush and you think something is going somewhere when he ends up kissing (on the cheek. Lets be clear here) one of your closest friends and you, like an utterly so-dumb-that-there-r-no-words-to-describe-it moron, click the damn snap, post it on Facebook, laugh as if it does NOT bother you and actually end up clicking the like button for that snap?

3) You are with a guest, showing him the hotel and are wearing stockings (due to which your feet tend to slip in the high heels), and you trip. Not once. Not twice. Not thrice. Not four times either. But 6 effing times!?

4) You are soooo dehydrated, you feel you spent 36 days in the Gobi Desert, have the world's worst hangover, wanna throw up in the nearest dustbin and your boss comes and reminds you of some work about which you can recall nothing of?

5) You suddenly realize you are actually more intelligent than most of the people you know, socialise with, work with and joke around with?

6) You are serving some guests in a banquet, in a new city with an alien language, and a guest comes to you, rapidly saying something in the same alien language and you politely tell him "Sir, I don't understand this language" and he says, "oh you dont understand it? hahahahahaha something something something" (translation: something something something = the alien language)

7) Your stockings get caught on the ring in your hand and start creating a horrific ladder (it means they start tearing or ripping apart) in front of your guest?

8) You end up having awkward silences with the guest and you can actually hear them tearing?

9) You, in order to impress yur crush and/ or people around you, ending up fake-knowing about a topic of discussion?

10) You sudden;y get the most randomest thoughts popping in your head when you are with a group of people?

11) You embarrass yourself in your daily morning meetings? (I am not going to write the details here cuz I will require a whole new post for it)

12) You, in order to get out of a date with an annoying guy, actually tell him about your imaginary boyfriend?

Well, these are a few pointers for you to kindly ponder over while I go off to sleep in depression.