3 day vacay.....

..... if you can call it that. Yes, I was out of town for THREE days. Yes, I was NOT in Bombay for THREE days. Yes, I was in Goa for THREE days! (Hah! you losers!) Sorry, got a bit carried away there. I had a blast most definitely. Though the trip was a leetle too short for any "r" of rejuvenation to take place but what the hell? Anything miles away from your work place can instantly put you in a MUCH better mood, eh? I stayed with my BFF (sigh! I wish that was like a BF). Awesome apartment I should say! It was a 120 degrees there. So put on sunblock and away we go................. She rides the bike pretty well considering that she breaks like a kilo meter before a speed breaker or a bump. I shopped a lil. Ate A LOT. Actually, went a lil insane eating sea food. Can't get enough of that! Now I am back to work. I was so upset coming back that I almost cried a little. No jokes! And here I was thinking I had more dignity than THAT! Today was my day back at work Left the office sharp at 1800 hrs to catch "New Moon". What. A. Movie! That lady has THE 2 most perfect men in the world fighting over her. They have one flaw each tho. One is a vampire (a vegetarian one at that. Which means he does NOT eat humans, duh) and the other is a werewolf. But who the hell cares about a tiny thing like that when they are ready to literally tear themselves apart for her. Ooooooh! Makes me feel like such a loser. I mean are men blind?????????? I have a question to the men in the blog world. What does it take to make you like a girl?????? Is the body? Does she have to be skinny? Does she have to love football and be a lil more like "a guy"? Does she have to be overly sensitive and in need of some support? What? What? I am tearing my hair out everyday here trying to make sense of all this.

Ok I am tired thinking about all this. Let me go and get like a hundred thousand winks while you guys answer me. What say you?

I just realized that I have again digressed from the topic here. When you have a flitting mind like mine.....

Where is that damn chocolate when I need it!

What I feel!

Don't you "yawn" at me or this title! Yeah lots of things going on right now. You know like a turmoil of emotions and shit. So, drunk (not EXACTLY drunk) after beer? Check. In my fuzzy socks? Check. Alone? Check. Counting the hours left for me to sleep? Check. A body of boiling blood? Check. Yeah you read THAT right. No, I am NOT having a sick psychotic-oh-my-God-I've-finally -gone-over-to-the-dark-side-'cuz-of-work experiment. I am talking about moi. After beer a few of us went for coffee and I am sure you know how the conversation jumps from one topic to another without any random connection. So the topic finally rested on 26/11. I literally have absolutely no words to describe what I am feeling at the moment. I am sure you will understand. I do NOT understand the objective behind killings. If you justify it by saying "Religion" I swear to God I will take my highest and my sharpest heel WITHOUT a freakin' heel cap and beat you to death. This answer is EXTREMELY laughable. Though I am not in a mood to laugh, I will do so anyway.

10 mins later.......

Laughter IS the best medicine! Oh where were we? Yes, on that laughable reason. I do NOT understand the logic of some people from the SAME effing industry being so callous. i do NOT understand that lone terrorist being held for trial. Take the bloody answers and castrate him. Without anesthesia. I do NOT understand losing people because of some retards. I do NOT understand kids being orphaned. I do NOT understand people losing their entire families. No I do not. I cannot. No matter how hard I try I cannot for the life of me answer these doubts. Can you? If you can then I will be forever in your debt.

(Note from the author: Not in the same lines as my previous posts but couldn't help it.)

Ratatouille

I wanted to write the title as "Life" but if I would have, it would have sounded philosophical and the 1 or 2 readers who DO read my blog wouldn't have visited my page. Whoever has seen Ratatouille would know what I am talking about. Those who haven't well here's a tiny, version for you. This movie revolves around a rat named Remy who loves to cook and has the eyes and nose for the most delicious ingredients and recipes. By turn of fate, he lands in Paris and in one of the most famous Michelin starred restaurants there. Now the chef who used to own the restaurant dies because one food critic gives him bad reviews and he loses one Michelin star and hence 'cuz of shock has a heart attack. Remy has always admired him and knows his (the chef's that is) book "Anyone can cook" in and out. The whole story revolves around Remy and how he helps the new garbage boy in the restaurant to cook who is actually the secret son and the heir to the restaurant. The critic hears of this and wants to come back for another visit and is surprised with the food and even more surprised to learn about Remy. He now believes that anyone CAN cook which roughly translates that no one on this planet is a useless lump (as my mother fondly calls me. Useless lump that is, NOT a rat. Thinks I am not intelligent enough to be one.)


There is a book I relate to life as well, and that is (drum roll please)"Murphy's Law". Yeah you read that right! I mean I agree with him when he says "Smile tomorrow could be worse" I even agree with him when he says "when a body is immersed in water, the phone rings". I completely, honest-to-God agree with him when he says "Mother Nature is a bitch".


NB: I have absolutely NOTHING against Mother Nature. Hey, but being a woman, anyone CAN be a bitch.

oh well

Yeah its been almost 2 months since I last showed my awesome presence here. But I got shifted to Bombay and being the Shoe Addict I am I bought TWO NEW PAIRS OF SHOES! Yup, u read that right! TWO NEW PAIRS. One was bought because it would have haunted me if I would not have also it was a compensation for a sorry date I had to go through with, and the other one was for work but who the hell cares, eh?! The higher the heel, the better it is. Someone very famously said, "No pain, No gain!" Right back atchya, you flat-loving-ballerinas-sporting women!

Also what has kept me busy is a couple of MORE (I think I should add) embarrassing disasters and a strong notion for a career change. Well the latter was not MY brain wave, t'was my family's. So we were in this car like a happy family and my sister told me, "I don't think you should do an MBA." I was silent before I could muster up an intelligent response like "why?" she gave a very encouraging response, "cuz I can't picture you doing it" My response was just a stare. She continued, "Also, I cant picture you in a corporate world 'cuz you WILL BE thrown out in a couple of days" I was like, "oookkkaaaay" Surprisingly mom also sided with her. She is like we have an idea for you. I gave a very disgruntled what. They said, "Fashion Journalism!" THAT I must say surprised me. It was a thought which has slowly been formulating in my mind and now I am just confused as to how do I go about it. I would love to pursue it. Hell, my life revolves around Vogue and of course writing as you see this blog growing every 3 months or so. It is like it is a crime if some woman worth her shoes is caught wearing a an out of date shoe or something. Yeah I am self obsessed. Right now I am pms-ing so I totally allowed to say what I want, if you dont want to suffer a painful death, you hear me?

I hate mood swings!

Buh-bye email

Nah not from the blog world but from where I work. I got transferred to another hotel of the same chain and so I wrote this below goodbye email. Everyone ESPECIALLY the GM found it funny. Tell me what you think of it (read: good opinions only. Bad 'uns can write their own good bye email to me!) -

"Hi guys!

Finally an e-mail wherein I do not have to be very formal. This email might sound a bit cliched but let me start anyway. As you all know (hopefully) that I am getting transferred to "Hotel Name" (you actually think I will give out the name on a public blog? Ever heard of stalkers?) and today is my last day. Well, actually its my “clearance day”.

First of I would like to apologize to anyone to whom I might have been rude to (which is hopefully never) and for my mistakes (which unfortunately are quite a bit).

Second, I would like to thank each and everyone of you for all the support, fun, jokes, parties and of course work which everyone has given me. This has been my first work place ever and to be honest I was not sure when I first joined here. As everyone knows I cribbed and whined and cried on some days but whaddya know? I got attached! It is a bit difficult for me to leave this office and all the friends I have made here. I have learnt a lot here in terms of work and in terms of, well, not work. I do not know what impact I have made here but whatever it is I hope it is good. If not, at least everyone will still talk about me (sigh!)

As you all must have already guessed I have never been very good at this “Archies Gallery” stuff and I would really love to write about everyone here individually but it is going to take time and I have to run to HR. I swear before I leave I will definitely do so.

As they say now a days, “after you accept the Facebook Friends request then you become friends” or something like that. What I am trying to say is you can reach me on Facebook / Orkut / Gtalk / Gmail through meghag20@gmail.com or Skype. You can find my Skype id below in my signature for your kind perusal!!!!! The same has been highlighted in red. (Yeah yeah I realized my signature for the Skype Id is not there. Get the hint!)

Really going to miss this place (sniff!) (I swear on my shoes and back!)

Take care guys!"

Well? Whaddya think?

One of my shorter blogs.....

LIFE SUCKS.....

Experience is the BEST Teacher!

I REALLY think the above quote was made by a person who lived on bad luck to make himself/ herself feel better and to support the other people who survive on bad luck. Now do not get me wrong. I am in NO WAY surrounded by bad luck but it so happens that some incidences in my life (small incidences) make me wonder....... oh and I also learn from them......

1) This happened when I was in school. I had this MAJOR 100% adolescent teenage crush on one of my then close friends. We were pretty thick. I am not the types who makes her friends her brothers. Anyway after a year of being classmates we were shuffled when we graduated to the next class. I still had the major-crush-of-the-year. "Rakhi Day" came and he came running to me in the corridor, "Hey! Where's my rakhi?" FML!

2) I am currently on this major bed rest. NEVER EVER drink any drink while lying down. It goes in your nostrils and in your head and as soon as you get up it comes out rushing from the same spot all over your touch phone. ESPECIALLY something aerated.

3) I have been living in this city for a year. Never has any place given me so many problems. One tip from my side: IF you have never had pimples or boils on your face during those hormonal-changing-extremely-annoying-puberty-introducing-horrible-looking-teenage years, always ALWAYS be prepared to have them during your mentally-stable-good-looking-twenty-something years.

4) Those things really hurt.

5) Never try to show people how strong you are by picking up heavy objects. You just might be on the bed for 3 months after that.

6) Poker straight hair is awesome and causes envy is some people which is good. But do not get them curled and if you do always check in a mirror before flaunting them. It might so happen that within half an hour of curling them they might straighten again and you wouldn't know and would be showing them off to all your extended family for 2 hrs just to get awkward-my-gawd-she-has-finally-lost-it look.

7) NEVER get drunk and try kissing a person whom you have been crushing for a few months thinking he/ she will start seeing stars after you get physical. They will just get up and say no and push you towards some random person.

8) Never attempt a wannabe pole dance when you are drunk thinking it will be funny and not remember it the next day. Chances are before you wake up, the whole world would have seen it 'cuz your friend thought it will be funny to click a snap of you at that moment.

9) ALWAYS be prepared for good looking people in the places you least expect to find them ESPECIALLY when they are in an elevator and you want to get into it. The doors will close with you being sandwiched in between and trying to make this really uncool wriggle to get out before you are squeezed to death.

10) Never ever get close to flame. When you hear that sizzling sound it means your hair is getting cooked.

Yes my dear students, these are some of the things I have learnt in my 20 something years f existence on Earth. Would love to gain knowledge from yours!!!!!

Boring and badly put..........

......my life that is. Yeah I was pondering over as to what my life is and I realized I sooo need to get one.

First of, my apologies to the "couple" of readers of my blog. I haven't visited this world in a long, loooooooooooong time.

So back to my "philosophies". I am again on bed rest. Everyone thinks I am so lucky and that I just chill and sleep. Trust me its not THAT great for the following reasons:

1) Since it concerns my back, I cannot even THINK of wearing anything above 0 inches. And if you know I practically live in my sky high stilettos.

2) I can only read so much, surf so much and sleep so much that I got nothing to do. There is ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY nothing to eat and the T.V. is kinda broken down. So I try counting the cracks on the ceiling and look for any lizards that I might want to clobber.

3) Speaking of reading I have started simply hating the books I read. I mean why does there have to be a love story or a romance blossoming in every godforsaken book I read? I feel so worthless. I should try reading murder mysteries but then again even they have the stupid romance between the main guy and his extremely-hawt-drop-dead-gorgeous-should-not-be-alive sidekick. And then they have these snidey remarks about each other and then bam! Guess what? They are at the altar professing their love, the mystery gets solved and everyone is teary eyed saying how beautiful these endings are! Sigh! Pretty, ain't it? Yuck! I should probably read something like "World's most wanted Serial Killers" or "Organizational Behaviour". I am pretty damn sure and give you writing in blurd (blood) that they do NOT have any love story blossoming within them! (FYI people: I HATE Mills and Boons EVEN when my love life was blossoming. The books are just plain sad and not in an emotional kind of way).

4) Its 04:10 am. What more explanations do you want?

Lygophobia

Yeah it apparently means irrational fear of dark. I do not have it but I do get scared of the dark. And guess what? While watching the movie "The Woods" (of all the movies on this goddamit planet) the lights went off. And why? 'cuz some two tiny-minuscule-invisible-to-the-naked-eye-wont-even-hurt-an-amoeba rain drops fell. How stupid. I mean SERIOUSLY how stupid! Anyway, so here I am writing this blog hunting for the keys in the dim laptop light (its dim not 'cuz laptop sucks 'cuz I had to reduce the power, duh!) and also 'cuz I felt like writing something. It is NOT supposed to rain 'cuz its bloody humid and getting so with every passing nano second.


Yeah darkness and humidity make me cynical.


I need a chocolate. (not 'cuz I am addicted to it, I am not I swear! But 'cuz it will melt in the fridge u see.)

Shopping = Gym

Yup, all the shopaholics out there would like to agree that shopping and gymming are very similar. Both involve toning of legs, both involve picking up heavy objects, both involve hours of work. And ultimately both end up making you feel sexy and AWESOME!!!!! So I am a shopaholic who has joined the gym. But this city has nothing where I can go and shop so I have (sigh!) joined a gym (yawn). Hence no time at al to come to the blog world an write my words of wisdom. Saw Confessions of a Shopaholic yesterday. Read the book ages ago! I loved the movie but like the book. But hey as Crossword says, "Never judge a book by its movie". But somehow I ended up liking the movie too. The movie is just me!!!!!!!! Except the debt part. That has GOT to suck. So I have no credit card on me as I am from the hospitality industry which intends to pay negligible to all the management trainees.

I will definitely come back with something more interesting.

6 packed disaster!

So yesterday I went to see "Little Zizou". Having quite a few EXTREMELY close Parsi mad friends, I could totally relate to the movie and loved every second of it 'cuz it was reflecting each and every1 of my friends' characters. The acting was brilliant, the movie was light and fun. It had a strong message to it. Do see it. Yeah I am writing about it NOW 'cuz movies release a leetle (Read: agonizingly) late here, you see.

So I am digressing from the topic. After that I went grocery shopping for the house. Came back home. Had loads of packets in my hand. One dropped. The one which had to drop was the one with SIX BLOODY EGGS. I HAVE dropped 'em before but they have never broken EVER. But yesterday, the floor did not spare EVEN one of them. Can you believe my luck? Thank god they were packed. Anyway, had nice scrambled eggs for dinner.

And so it continues.....

Yeah you must have read my post on Monday morning and probably related to or laughed at me. At least I made your day. So on Tuesday I got yelled at again. I am forgetting for what actually and after having a hearty (read: really bad) lunch, I was walking towards the office when all of a sudden I was seeing the ceiling. Ya know, when it happens when you fall and for a moment you do not realize it. So I was flat on my back and had done this skid which would have put those Chinese gymnasts to shame. A couple of chefs were around and this guy with whom I had had a fight. So that tiny little guy came running to pick up the big ol' me. Obviously, being the woman that I am I refused his help, got up, said I am fine, walked towards the elevator and buried my face in my hands. So now my left shoulder refuses, simply REFUSES to move. Guess the whole 1000000 tons of my body weight had fallen on that.

This does not end here. Today being a Wednesday I got yelled at again.

I THINK I have had better days but somehow cannot recollect when. I wonder why.

A cliched Monday morning (snore)

Well I had the BEST weekend ever! Mum dad were in town, I got to stay in the hotel (dad was not happy with the hotel FYI, I don't blame him tho) and mum n I went to Salar Jung Museum and it was too good. Just one Nizam's minister's collection. How much money did those people have in those days? OR How cheap were things? Stupid inflation and recession. Anyway on Saturday I went for my sister's graduation. She was in ISB people! (yeah I like to brag about it, so?). Anyway, come Sunday and my family (all 3 of em!!!) had to depart. Yeah i cried a few silent tears, but then packed my Mc Donalds burger and a chocolate shake and braved the world.

So Monday morning was terrible. Got up a leetle late. Sort of burnt one side of my toast, coffee was all powdery. Then was running around. My friend was holding the elevator and some guy was yelling to shut it downstairs. So I ran till the door when realized I had forgotten to wear my blazer, ran back, sprayed perfume and wore it and ran towards the elevator. A grumpy guy got in. He screamed at this woman who was on the 1st floor waiting for the elevator and asked her to use the stairs. One milk guy took one look at him on the 3rd floor and ran for the stairs. Anyway we were running towards the hotel (Monday morning meetings are terrible, I'd rather be stuck in a walk in freezer with no electricity than face the wrath). I entered the office and guess what I realize? I put one ballerina on my right foot and one peep toe in my left foot! No wonder I was feeling funny while walking. And I couldn't do anything. So I had to be that way for the first half till one of my other friends got my other shoe from the house. And after the meeting I was called to my Dir's office. I had pissed off my IT manager A LOT apparently last week when I asked him very sternly to kindly not be rude to me and to talk to me properly. So he went on to my ID saw what all facebook sites and google sites I have been on and mailed me marking a copy to my Dir of Sales, HR and Finance. So all in all it was the perfect Monday morning. What more could I ask for?

What a random day

I am alone in the office right now. Actually with a friend of mine. No, not because I am early (I never am, you see) but because everyone's gone for a meeting and at least two people have to be in the department. What if an annoying guest calls up early in the morning? Someone should be around, right? Yes, hotels make me cynical. And a sadist. Anywho, mom dad are coming tomorrow to the city 'cuz it is my sister's graduation and its her last few days in Hyderabad + they need to see the dump I live in. Yes, this city makes me cynical. And a sadist (evil laugh).

My mind is not working at all. I think I am gonna end up with a lock jaw or something if I dont stop yawning right now. Got up early today for a walk you see. (What? It is the truth)

Yeah, whatever

Havent been coming to the blog world for quite some time now. So I would like to apologize to the couple of people who MIGHT have missed my blog. I have not been keeping well for a couple of weeks now. Ya know, high fever, body aching it feels it is gonna shatter in 10000000 pieces, then the cold, sore throat and the works. Been fun actually (see the sarcasm dripping, people!)

And I have been shifting apartments. I never realized how much stuff I have. It is so messy.

Also, I have been extremely upset. My two closest people are leaving the city. My sister is graduating and leaving this city next Sunday and my closest friend from college (we have been roomies for the past 4 yrs) is getting transferred to some god forsaken place and she is leaving tomorrow morning. So basically I have been trying hard not to cry like a baby. I can see the days of me eating a tubful of chocolate icecream ALONE coming closer. It will be worse than Valentines Day. Oh god!

So I have been in this "yeah, whatever" mood for quite sometime and I have come to 2 conclusions:

1) This city does NOT suit me, so I NEED to get transferred.
2) I HAVE to get transferred.

Ooh I had a meeting with my Area Director Sales and Marketing and he said I will get transferred in July hopefully, so I am in the process of putting up a calender of 16 weeks on my cupboard and strike out one one day. How exciting is my life!???

Tap Tap Tap! = Shoes and a touch phone

I went to Bombay last week. It has been the most fruitful trip EVER from the time I have shifted out of that city. So I went shopping. I wanted "they-r-in-your-face-and-also-hurts-your-eyes-so-much-they-make-u-wanna-go-blind" coloured shoes. Ya know, the kinds which shine in the sun and are the first things you spot in the midst of a Bombay crowd? So I went from shop to shop to shop on Sunday and did not find ONE single vibrant coloured shoe which fit my feet. Yeah I have big feet which is a boon cuz no one can then borrow my shoes. Ha! But anyway, I went to this one shop wherein to console myself I bought my first ever pair of flats with my own money, babay! (Note: I am not a big flats person). But they r too cool, but as I have to embarrass myself EVERYWHERE, while paying I managed to drop whatever was kept on the counter and when I turned to leave after hurried apologies and "no problems ma'am" and the payment, before I took any step I tripped on the carpet in full view of the already present customers and the ones coming in. So while my friends were busy laughing, I had already made myself scarce from there. I surprisingly managed to remain +ve even after not finding shoes of my liking and ended up with a pair of orange shoes and red shoes.

I needed a business phone or at least a phone through which I could send business cards and stuff. 'cuz the one I had was a 2nd hand one from my YOUNGER brother (isn't it supposed to be the other way round?) which was probably a decade old and this is being said without any exaggeration and/ or hint of sarcasm. To make a call by pressing the green button twice took me 10 mins. So I whined and complained about it as much as I could and ended up with an HTC or probably it was a way of asking me to kindly keep my trap shut. So its this PDA thingy and its with this stylus thingy which means I have to touch the screen and all to make calls and send msgs and information. Its so BLOODY cool!

Yeah so I have been tapping away. (That is with the shoes and the phone. Hence, the title.)

"Don't drink and come near me"

I should probably hang a billboard with this message and go to each and every party where I know guys are bound to get drunk. Let me explain and tell you how the cycle works and you will have to trust me as I manage to attract drunk losers in herds like there's no tomorrow.

Ok you go to a party wherein the crowd:
Scenario 1: sucks
Scenario 2: is good

If its scenario 1, then no need to worry every1 will get attracted to you be it a guy or a gurl.

If its scenario 2, which, FYI, invariably happens to me, the party will be something like this. There will be these extra hot girls (god knows from where they come) and these 'nothing' guys. No need to mention about the good guys as they will already be making out with someone hot. So when you enter the party, they will look at you and start rating you in their heads. Guys and girls alike. Guys will not know what rating to give, and the girls on the other hand will have a smug look looking at an inferior species. These guys will try their luck, will give their best effort with these hot women; And as everyone knows, women like to play a leetle hard to get. The hot ones will be playing harder to get, these guys will be buying them drinks or whatever it is they do to turn up their charm (I dont know 'cuz I have never experienced). Guys keep on drinking, women keep on ignoring, people like me keep on looking wistfully. So these women go home with some other guys, these guys come over to people like me 'cuz they are so drunk they think people like me are fucking HOT and why did they NOT notice us before! But people like me who are so depressed, do not drink that much to see what those guys are seeing and then try to push them away and wonder what will happen to their lives.

So there are 3 morals to the story:

• Look Good
• Drink like a fish
• Kill all the good looking women

hmmmmmmmmmmmm

Yup you guessed it right! I AM humming to this song in Slumdog Millionaire: 'Latika Theme'. I loved the movie. I actually fell in love with Dev Patel but I think the credit should go to everyone who was involved directly/ indirectly in making of this movie. I am a big book buff, so I will definitely read the book and get back with the review. Now back to the movie.

It is no wonder that it has done so well everywhere in the world and that we Indians were eagerly awaiting the premiere what with our buddies telling us the story after seeing the pirated version. The songs, the music, the direction, the acting, screenplay, diaogues were simply brilliant! I couldn't spot one tiny, minuscule flaw in the movie.

What I simply, totally fail to understand is, what the hell is wrong with everybody? If you didn't like the movie that much 'cuz you thought it was a leetle depressing its definitely understandable. NOT when you say its an insult to Indians or we are being projected as beggars or an underdeveloped third world nation crap. I am sorry but whatever was shown in the movie was shown as a matter-of-fact "I was born in the slums and this is how my life was". There are slums, so there ARE slums! No one can do anything about, yes unless and until the stupid wannabe critics are ready to do something. It was a simple story, told very simply in a matter-of-fact-and-its-the-truth-what-the-hell-will-you-do-about-it.

Final verdict: Get yur arse right there to the movie theatre and see the harsh truth and fall in love with everyone.
oh yes! and also start believin in your destiny. I am taking time to believe in mine though 'cuz its so weird, its unbelievable!

Work! Work! Work!

I am at work! So this is going to be a very short blog! The thing is I do not want to get caught. 'Cuz if I am then before my Mgt Training gets over, I will be thrown out.

Yeah my comp is not free so cannot check my official mails. Hence, this gives me and excuse to waste time. I am sure all of you reading this have no work either on a Saturday morning.

ok i gotta go now! will be coming up with something soon!